motivation monday: affability

Affability

Affability is the virtue of maturity and not of youth. It requires the discipline and strength of character to be even-keeled in one’s demeanor, regardless of how one is feeling. It is that rare species of charity, the heroic strength that does not inflict one’s fluctuating moods on others.

As I get myself back into the habit of writing rambling pages in the morning to “get the junk out” (a.k.a Lisa Byrne), I found tucked into my journal a post reflecting on a Carmelite obituary. No one famous had died, and yet this brother had made a big, positive impact on the lives around him. Brother Antoine’s presence can be described in one word – welcome.

Certainly, I can be as affable as the next person when I’m out doing errands or talking on the phone to a customer service rep. That’s easy.

What I struggle with is my fluctuating moods at home, my children, and my husband. Everyone has a story.  In my case, I’ve dealt with adrenal fatigue, post partum depression twice (which makes more me more susceptible to depression), an overdose of Tylenol in college, and more than 20 years with a family member’s addiction with limited support from family. My details are different from yours, but the result is the same – I’m a stressed out mom with a lot on my plate in every sense of the word. I don’t have to live this way, and certainly my kids would love to have a calm, affable mom who laughs and jokes.

Being affable is a choice. I have to make the choice every minute, every day. Some days, it’s easy. Some days, it’s really hard. Some days, I fail miserably.