5 tips for parents for parent/teacher conferences

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Yesterday, it was parent/teacher conference time at my children’s school. I met with the first grade and 3rd grade teachers for my middle sons. My daughter’s Kindergarten conference comes in November. I love sitting down with my children’s teachers to talk about my children’s progress and what we need to work on for the year.

Before writing this post, I checked with my friend Julie of Julieverse, a former elementary school teacher and current director of her school’s PTO, for her advice to parents on this topic. Julie has written extensively on her blog about education from both perspectives, including a recent series about helping children with their homework. Julie feels the most important thing for parents to remember is:

Be open minded — your child’s teacher may see a very different child than you see at home; that’s normal and expected. Use this opportunity to discuss what the teacher sees and how you child responds to school at home.

If you remember nothing else from this post when you walk into your first parent/teacher conference, remember Julie’s advice – Be Open.

1. Lay the groundwork before you go to the conference.

One of my favorite tools for doing this is the letter I write to my children’s teachers before school starts. In the letter, I introduce myself to the teacher, share a little about my child’s interests, and talk about their strengths and weaknesses. I provide contact information for myself at the end. Each year, my children’s teachers mention the letter during the conference.

As a parent, I feel strongly about building a connection with my children’s teachers. The August letter sets the stage and lets the teacher know that I’m open and honest about my children’s abilities. I volunteer as much as I can during the year. I take advantage of opportunities for small talk to build a rapport with my children’s teachers.

2. Come prepared with a few questions.

Many conferences are only about 15 to 20 minutes long. The teacher has her own agenda to cover with you; she’ll provide time for you to ask your questions.

I like to ask about how my child is doing socially in school. Even though I see them on the sports field and with their friends in our neighborhood, I’m always curious to know about how my children handle working in groups and conflict with their peers.

3. Come with an open mind.

Comfortable in his home environment, your child may act very differently at home. Talking to your teacher gives you a more complete picture of your child in the world.

My son’s first grade teacher was concerned about a few times my son was touching other children. When we talked about the issue, I shared what I’ve noticed at home with my son, a middle child who expresses his love for others through physical touch. I had also noticed his frustration with other children in the family not respecting his space or his toys. I also know that my son likes to encourage other children to be silly and will instigate physical touch. I will talk to my son about appropriate touch and letting his teacher know if someone is bothering him. His teacher will work on the same issues at school.

4. End the conference on a positive note.

I always thank the teachers for their time, and point out something specific that I appreciate. Teachers have our children’s best interests in mind, just like us. They also spend a year working with our children, and in my children’s case, also encounter my children during school and lunch time. It’s up to me as a parent to keep the relationship positive and beneficial for my children.

5. If you feel you need to discuss an issue further, follow up after the conference and ask for another one.

Often a 10 to 15 minute phone conversation will provide the time you need.

Because I love meeting new people and sharing, this post is linked to:

The Gathering Spot, Better Mom Mondays Linkup, Mama Moments Monday, Tackle It Tuesday

Meet Barb

Barb Hoyer has written 2735 posts.

After working in the fundraising world for over ten years, Barb is an avid runner, writer, photographer, parent volunteer, and lover of dictionaries and thesauruses. Wife to an engineer and mom to 5 kids, Barb lives in the suburbs of Philly. Her idea of relaxation is an afternoon on the couch with a stack of books.

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Gina B October 16, 2012 at 8:58 am

These are great tips! Since my children are on IEP, P-T conferences are very different – they are generally pleasant meetings where we review the kids’ strengths, and any concerns that haven’t been voiced (usually brand new behaviors) are brought up. Because we are so much in touch, I look forward to the P-T conferences because there are almost never any surprises!
Gina B recently posted..Felix Baumgartner, Jumping Off My Own Precipice, and You

Kelly Raudenbush October 16, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Great tips! I’m bookmarking this one!

Barb October 16, 2012 at 4:06 pm: Thanks!

Diane October 21, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Really great tips. Thanks for sharing at The Gathering Spot.
Diane recently posted..Spicy Black Bean Soup in the Slow Cooker

Sharon at Momof6 October 22, 2012 at 12:50 pm

I love your tips Barb! I would also add that don’t wait until conference time if you have a concern or a question for your child’s teacher. Feel free to send an email when you need to- one my daughters really struggles in school, and her teacher and I exchange emails every week. We also kicked off the year with a conference to come up with a homework “plan of attack” for her. I consider it my job to my child’s teacher’s partner!
Sharon at Momof6 recently posted..Get Your Life Organized Boot Camp {Week 4}- Menu Planning